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My Boyfriend's NOT Back

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Discussion Started on Apr 12 2008 at 10:09:23 am
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My Boyfriend's NOT Back

After Rudy Guiliani cheated on his wife and they divorced, she wrote a best-selling book titled My Boyfriend’s Back.  I don’t mean to be a copycat, but I’m kind of, sort of, writing the same book. Mine is titled My Boyfriend’s NOT Back, and I Don’t Know Where The Hell He Went. I’ve been brainstorming some ideas on how to find him. I did the obvious google-his-name thing, and may have found him in Michigan, which is where he moved to during that tragic summer of  1961 when he left me. I’ve thought about just picking up the telephone and calling him, but what if there is a Mrs.? What do I say? Something like this?: “Hi, Mrs. ______, I’m Bernie, the lovely thin brunette that your husband was madly in love with in the balmy state of Florida during all of ninth grade. I’m calling to claim him again as MINE. We were meant to be together.  I’ll never forget the awesome Halloween 3D movie we went to, and how it was really dark, and how his mother (YOUR mother-in-law) sat with us the entire time. I’ll also never forget the lovely set (there were six!!) of small bottles of perfume that he gave me for Christmas; one was Chanel No. 5!!!” I’m sure that would make her day. (I’m not kidding; he had good taste – in perfumes and girlfriends.)

 

I think there is probably a national Find Lost Boyfriend website, but I haven’t found it yet (I think the boyfriends and the website are both lost). I would even be happy to find a website with just photos and contact information. I’m sure I would spot him immediately; after all, I haven’t changed, why would I think he has? It’s only been 45 years, people!!!! We don’t all fall apart.

 

Anyway, for those of you who are hanging on my every word, let me tell you just how crazy about me that runaway-to-Michigan heart throb was. About 5 years after he left, he came back to Florida for a visit, and FOUND ME – it was just like out of a movie. He knocked on my door, and I called, “who’s there?” He said, “It’s Richard.” I threw open the door, blinded by the bright Florida sun, 9-months pregnant, with a 3-year-old whining in the background, my hair and my house a mess, and said, (before recognizing him), “Are you here about the stopped up toilet?”

 

I would like to end this wonderful, but sad, love story by saying that we locked my 3-year-old in his room, and made mad passionate love in my king-size waterbed the rest of the afternoon while the warm sun was streaming in through the window and while I carefully watched the clock to make sure my hubby wasn’t due home yet. The truth is, Richard came in and we made small talk for about a half hour while my son kept asking, “Who are you?” “Do you know my daddy?” Richard was dashing and SINGLE. When he left, we hugged. I watched soap operas while sipping sweet tea the rest of the afternoon and thought about what “might have been.” I haven’t seen or heard from him since, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t thinking about me . . .

 

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

 

I have to go now; I’ve got some lost boyfriend websites to check.

 

Bernie

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      Beda
    • Last Online: Mar 12 2010
    Discussion Started on Feb 18 2010 at 01:31:12 pm
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    Love your sense of humor and ability to put it on paper. There is a thread of melloncholy running through the piece, which only adds to it. Get some of your work out of the drawer and send it out to be published. 
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    • P1070722.JPG
      Beda
    • Last Online: Mar 12 2010
    Discussion Started on Feb 18 2010 at 01:32:49 pm
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    Please excuse my spelling of "melancholy." My bad.
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    • Bernie - The Ultimate Florida Gators Fan!!!
      Bernie
    • Last Online: May 26 2012
    Discussion Started on Feb 22 2010 at 02:45:37 pm
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    Beda - How nice of you to comment, and to say that I write well enough to be published. Reading what you wrote was a nice surprise. Yes, there is some melancholy there - I think we all wonder about "what might have been." Thanks again. Sincerely,  Bernie
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    • Last Online: Dec 31 1969
    Discussion Started on Feb 25 2010 at 04:07:52 pm
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    I think it's sad that you more or less brag about cheating on your husband while having your 3 year old " locked " in his bedroom. That's a lack of class if you ask me. How would you feel if it had been your husband doing the cheating while having your son " locked " in his bedroom. Sad really sad that people such as yourself do these things and then brag about it as if it nothing at all. He left you for a reason and then appears unannounced and you do as you described which is most likely why you haven't heard from him again, I mean who wants a proven cheat for a girlfriend or wife ???
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    • Bernie - The Ultimate Florida Gators Fan!!!
      Bernie
    • Last Online: May 26 2012
    Discussion Started on Mar 01 2010 at 12:08:07 pm
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    This is a STORY - that's what fiction writers do - they write stories. I think you need to lighten up and take the story at face value; it's meant to be funny. I have been a faithful wife for 45 years. If you don't like my writing, don't read it.
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    • Bernie - The Ultimate Florida Gators Fan!!!
      Bernie
    • Last Online: May 26 2012
    Discussion Started on Mar 01 2010 at 12:10:33 pm
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    One more thought. If you actually read my story, you know that nothing inappropriate was said or done on the day my junior high boyfriend re-appeared. Have a nice day.
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      helenl
    • Last Online: Jul 09 2010
    Discussion Started on Mar 06 2010 at 06:07:14 pm
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      I think you have great talent there girl.  Loved your story and anyone with a creative mind knew you were expressing thoughts and dreams.  Keep it up.   HelenL
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    • Bernie - The Ultimate Florida Gators Fan!!!
      Bernie
    • Last Online: May 26 2012
    Discussion Started on Mar 07 2010 at 11:24:43 am
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    Thank you, Helen, and welcome to Growing Bolder. This is a great website for connecting with people you share interests with, and there are many inspiring stories about what people are doing with their lives as they age, and in a positive way.

    I really enjoy posting my stories here. I generally write one a day and just have fun with it.

    Stay in touch.

    Bernie

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    • Picture 2.jpg
      helenl
    • Last Online: Jul 09 2010
    Discussion Started on Mar 08 2010 at 03:57:45 pm
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      I've been working on a fiction book off and n for the past few years.  Gave up on it while I was wrking but now that I'm retired I hope to finish it.  Only lack a couple or three chapters. HelenL
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