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oh, boy, do I have a story for you...

My son was bullied in school and I didn't respond. I gave him all the best advice - try to reaons with the bully (who he'd known for a long time), never walk alone, document every incident of bullying, raise your voice so teachers notice and respond, walk away, keep your temper, take a teacher into your confidence and ask him to keep an eye out. I knew that if I made a stink, he'd be a bigger target.

My son isn't your typical victim. He's tall, outgoing, athletic, very social. This was a kid 2 years older and much bigger, and it was over a girl who liked my son and not the bully.

One day, the bully told everybody he knew that he was going after Evan after school. Evan decided not to run. He waited..off school grounds, for the bully to find him. When he did, the bully came at him and Evan clocked him, twice. The first punch broke the other boys cheek bone. The second broke his nose. The bully went down and Evan backed off. Meanwhile, one of the bully's backup dancers ran at Evan's back and was tackled by two of Evan's friends. After a short scuffle, he, too, wound up with a broken nose. The whole thing lasted less than 2 minutes, completely ruined my son's life, and nearly destroyed our family.

He was charged as an adult (at 15) and thrown out of school. It's too long a story, but the bully lied and said that Evan and his friends jumped him and two boys held him down while Evan pummeled him. He recanted that story when he was deposed, but the prosecution refused to back off. Eventually, they dropped the charges to a misdemeanor and Evan wound up with 6 months probation. I feel strongly that he would have won at trial, but rolling the dice on a minimum 22 month sentence in adult prison for a teenager was more than I could handle. That little episode cost me $20,000 and left my son with an anxiety disorder that made all our lives difficult. He's 22 now, has his GED, and is trying to get his life together with a criminal record and some mental issues. If they'd passed the stand your ground law just a few months earlier, we would definitely have gone to trial with confidence. 

My advice to your great-nephews parents is simple. Do whatever you have to do to get him out of that situation. Change schools, homeschool, online school, charter school, private school, send him to live with grandma, just get him out. Because our society is batshit crazy and there is no winning scenario. Tell them to take it seriously, because it is serious.

Sorry this is so long...I'd make a blog post of it, but I don't like to remind my son about this. It's unlikely that he reads comments on other blogs  

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I agree with you on all counts, and I thank you for your input.  But for someone so young, who doesn't have the experience we have, it's not so easy.  It's going to take time for him to realize that these are the times that will make him strong....if he allows it.  As to the jackasses....I only wish that I could be there to see it happen!       

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Ginger,

Tell your nephew it's alright to avoid these slugs. They are bullies because they are cowards and, like wild dogs, they run in packs. If he got one of them alone he'd see how tough these creeps really are. (Happened to me, so I know.) People who are bullied by these monsters feel less than adequate when they can't defend themselves, either being outnumbered or out of fear. BUT, we don't have to confront evil. In fact, the God which you ask us to call upon for your nephew says in Proverbs, "The wise man sees evil and runs the other way." Different versions say it differntly, but, the meaning is still the same. These jackasses will get their comeuppance someday. I've seen it happen too many times to not know it's true.

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Ginger -

I'm so very sorry for your great-nephew's problem.  Thank heaven he didn't end his young life because someone else is ignorant!  Bullying is so very prevalent today, I think much more so than when I was young.  You've done everyone a service by your blogging on this subject.  You may be sure you and your family will be in my prayers.  I an imagine how upset this episode has made you.  My heart goes out to you and your great-nephew.

Bless you.

Terry