5 Questions With: Dr. Mary Hilaire Tavenner

Posted November 24, 2008, 10:16 am in Books


After nearly 20 years as a Franciscan nun in Central New York, Dr. Mary Hilaire (Sally) Tavenner decided she wanted more. She had been in a convent since the age of 17, and still held strong spiritual and religious beliefs, but knew her true calling was to put those beliefs into practice outside of the order. Taking three black dresses, a guitar, a broken typewriter and $1,000 with her, Dr. Tavenner spent the next several years teaching.


She saw the worst (an inner-city school in Tampa, Florida, where a full-time armed police officer stood watch) to the best (Hillsborough County, Florida, where baseball players and executives lived). She struggled financially, but found joy in learning, going back to school and receiving her doctorate in Reading/Language Arts.

After moving back to her small hometown of Lorain, Ohio, to care for her ailing mother, Dr. Tavenner poured her energies into writing -- everything from a fictional account of convent life in the 1960s to memoirs of travels through Europe. These days, Dr. Tavenner is a freelance speaker, educator and writer, and owns her own business called DUTCH INK, which she calls her "literary home."

Recently, Growing Bolder invited Dr. Tavenner to take part in our ongoing series called "5 Questions With." You can read archived articles here.

1.     You have taken a very unique path to get to where you are today! What were the biggest challenges you faced along the way, and the greatest joys?

I turned 60 this past year…I have been a nun for almost 20 years, an educator for nearly 40, and a writer for almost the past 20.   When I was 17, I entered the convent with a conviction that God wanted me to enter, and that I would be able to positively impact the world as a “Sister.”  I did do good things as a nun. The hardest decision I ever made was for me to leave the convent. I thought I would be a “religious” all of my life, but it was just too hard. When I was sent to Puerto Rico to teach (against my wishes), I came to believe that I did not have “a calling in the convent” and that in order to be happy or at peace, I had to leave.  It was the hardest decision of my life, but absolutely the best.

My joys have always been to facilitate the joy and peace and education of others. I want my days on earth to make a difference. I think my greatest joy was taking care of my mother the last 6 years of her life. She was homebound, (couch bound) with chronic emphysema. I loved the company of my mother; I knew from the earliest of years that she was the greatest love of my life. She was my “unconditional love.” They are all too rare in life.


My joy is that I gave my best to the 2,000 children I taught over the years, and the 1,000 adults.  I have written and published 8 wonderful books.  I have laughed often and loved much.  My legacy will be that before God, I know I tried my best--every day for the past 60 years.

2.    You’re a great example of our belief that it’s never too late to follow your dreams. Are they the same dreams you had when you were a child? How have they changed, and what are your dreams for the future?

As a child, I had many interests, but fundamentally three dreams or three ambitions: To be a teacher, a nun, and a writer. I have been all three. Now my truest ambition is to produce 30 good books before I return to God. I wish I did not have to struggle so much financially, but I guess it is the price I am to pay for producing and publishing those books.
 
Oh, I forgot….for as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a saint--to please God and receive God’s Eternal Home. I’m thinking lots of people want to be holy. Maybe not, but for sure--I’ve wanted to be as healthy, as happy, and as holy as I possibly can be, given my human nature.
 
3.    What’s your basic philosophy on life? It doesn’t have to be too lofty a description – our members would just like you know if you’re a person that’s driven by the need for success, or if happiness is your ultimate goal, and what ideals you try and follow to get there!

Christ is my inspiration and my role model. I also love the saints, because in their own ways, they tried to be faithful to “the kingdom of God within them.” Yes, I want to be happy--never at the expense of anyone else’s happiness. I want to be at peace. I want to do good and noble things for humanity. I very much want to please God. I’ve never desired great fame or wealth, but I do want to be able to pay my bills. For me, success is being faithful to my talents and my abilities. I want to leave my nieces and nephews the amazing legacy I believe that I have inherited from my ancestors (those who went before me, and those who inspire me now, be they young or old, living or deceased.)

4.    What advice do you have for anyone that’s trying to make it in business or publishing today? Any lessons learned along your journey that might help someone else?

Writing and publishing our educations, our imaginations, our experiences, our truths, our fantasies is such a joy, such a privilege. I haven’t been able to make money at it, but I sure have paid thousands of dollars to make my books available for readers, throughout the world. It takes courage to be a writer, especially if you don’t get paid for it and have no source of income other than what you can earn along the way. I know my books are worth reading. I know they are true, inspiring, thought-provoking, educational and worth anyone’s time and effort.

I think being a writer, for me, is just as much a “vocation” as my being a nun for 20 years. I did the best I could as a “Franciscan Sister” and I’m doing the best I can, as I explore this fascinating world of writing. What makes it particularly difficult is having little or no money….but it was just like that as a nun, and yet, I was able to do good things there as well. 
 
5.    Who do you consider to be your heroes? These can be real-life or fictional characters … have fun!

My heroes were first and foremost, my Mom and Dad. My parents gave me life. They did the best they could with the seven of us. They not only provided my genetic make-up, but many of my ideas, likes and dislikes, habits, and characteristics. I am eternally grateful to my parents.    

Also, I am grateful for my faith in the God Creator, the Blessed Mother, Jesus and all the saints, especially St. Francis of Assisi and St. Elizabeth Ann Seton. I love all the saints…but I do have my favorites. I’m grateful to my grandmothers (both of my grandfathers were dead before I was born) and to anyone who ever liked me or enjoyed me. I have a particular love for many of my former teachers, way too many to list. [Miss Reed, Mrs. Pivacek, Miss Leobald, Ms. Miller, Mr. Delgross, Mr. Graziano, to name but a few.] I have no fictional heroes. Everyone I have loved and learned from were real people in my world. 

To learn more about Dr. Mary Hilaire Tavenner, and to read excerpts from her books, go to her Web site by clicking here.
To read archived articles from our 5 Questions With series, click here.



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