5 Questions With: Joan Sherlock

Posted May 26, 2009, 12:08 pm in Family
Credit Katy Widrick

Remember that old commercial that ended with the tag line, "I'm not only the president; I'm a member?" Joan Sherlock could claim the same thing when it comes to her new project: Empty Nexters. A professional career coach and consultant, Joan is also a mother of three who has battled challenges and faced struggles through her life.


Joan founded her company Wild Sage Insight after 25 years working in Silicon Valley. But for many years, she stayed at home with her daughters. Empty Nexters is a community and Web site designed for people who are looking for advice, insight and fellowship in the years after their children move out of the house. As Joan states, “For many of us, coping with an empty nest is not always easy. Imagine how much easier it would be to make this life transition with others who are experiencing the same thing!”

In talking with Joan for this interview, I found her to be engaging, passionate, funny and caring – and her answers to this edition of 5 Questions With prove all of that to be true and more. Read on, and be sure to visit the 5QW archive for other great interviews!

1. You're passionate about family, and it's clear that being a mom has been one of the more valuable titles you've held. What other titles and jobs have meant something special in your life?

I am definitely passionate about family- raising children has been by far the most satisfying of my careers. However, I’m also grateful to have been part of the growth of Silicon Valley since the early 1980s. My background in Marketing has allowed me to hold many different positions at high tech companies with some very interesting projects. At Apple Computer I was on the team who launched the original Mac. At Sun Microsystems I was in charge of rolling out their first environmental campaign (Eco Responsibility).


I also ran a program for Sun with the UN which involved a trip to Morocco, which was fascinating. The many projects in between were just as interesting. So it’s been a wonderful and wild ride. Now I have my Career and Life Coaching training which is helping me guide others through challenges around the empty nest, and do video and podcasts around specific issues for that audience. There is nothing more satisfying than helping a client discover how they want to change their life, and help them get to where they want to be. [Recently] we launched emptynexters.com to develop community for that group -- we’re having a blast!

2. What's the biggest struggle you've faced, and see others face, as an empty nester?

There are 181 million empty nesters in the US and Europe. Research has shown that 58% are overjoyed to wave goodbye to the kids. That leaves 42% who are very conflicted when they leave. For this group, it’s a huge life shift. For 18+ years they’ve been living a life centered around family and their children’s needs, and suddenly that identity as a parent is gone. Many don’t know what to do, how to reinvent themselves, and how to reconnect with their spouse/partner. For many it’s finding a whole new purpose in life.


For me, I have to say I’m overjoyed to finally have some freedom. Though I do realize that emptynexters.com is part of my cathartic process, I’m already reinventing myself into something that has a great deal of meaning for me. I adore my girls, miss them when they are away, and yet love my time alone. I am definitely ready for the next great adventure!

3. Who did you look up to while growing up? Have those role models changed now that you're an adult?

My mom was definitely an inspiration to me. She was a community and political activist and a Social Worker Supervisor for 36 years. She loved her work and felt that she made a big difference in many people’s lives. She was also a single mom of two as my dad died when I was 10. It was hard for her but she took control, and made all the important stuff happen. I would say I admire her even more now that I’ve reached my 50s and better understand the family and work issues she dealt with.

4. Fifty years from now, what do you hope people say about you and the life you lead? What will your legacy be?

I love this question, I ask the same one in my Finding Your Purpose and Passion Workshops. I have people look back at their lives from the perspective of a 100 year old. It’s a very telling question. For me, I hope my legacy would be twofold: one – that I raised three amazing individuals who went on to make a big difference in the world, and two -- that I touched a million lives and helped them change for the better.

5. Describe the perfect day for us -- where are you, who are you with, what are you doing?


The perfect day….I’d have to start with some activities that made me feel I accomplished something- that would give me permission to go relax. So first I’d need to work with a couple clients and have the sessions go really well, then update my blog. Then I’d call some friends and go have a long lunch with great food and catch up on everything (I love my friends), this would be outdoors of course, kind of like in an Italian movie. Lunch would be followed by a long hike in the hills around my house, a light supper with my kids dropping by. In the late evening I’d take the red-eye to Paris with the love of my life…. So the next day would be perfect too.



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