Okay, first, here’s my list of the things I would NEVER do if I had a week left...

Skydive...who does that?  And, why?

Bungee jump...again, is there a reason for this...at all?

Live in Alaska in the winter (or, say, Minnesota)...even for a week.  People who live in the northern tundra are odd, they talk funny and their lives are shortened in direct proportion to the weight of all the clothes they have to pile on their bodies just to walk out to the curb (if they could see the curb for all the snow) to pick up the morning paper.

Stay home.  If I only had a week, I’d be in Florence so fast it would make the Dr.’s head spin.  Oh, and I’d fly first class and stay at the Florence Four Seasons.

Clean out the litter box.  That’s a given.

Now, for some of the things I WOULD do if I had but a week:

Let’s be honest...spend WADS of money (probably whether I had it or not)...on clothes.  I want to go out in style...and shoes...I’d finally be able to find a pair of handmade shoes that are gorgeous and fit my feet.

Go straight to Florence...per above.  As a matter of fact, I’d probably wait to buy my shoes until I got to Italy.  We all know about their shoes.

Take a 5-day trek on horseback in New Zealand...only 5 days because I would need a couple of days afterward to clean up and regroup before checking out.

Eat whatever the hell I want to for breakfast, lunch and dinner...like lobster with eggs for breakfast, lobster sandwich for lunch and steamed lobsters (3) for dinner.

Make people laugh.  I’ve been trying to do that all my life, so that’s also a given, but my people would have to laugh whether they thought I was funny or not...just for that week.

Here’s my advice for all of you out there who only have a week...Live like no-one’s watching...hell, do that every day anyway and see what happens.  You might lose some friends because they’d be so embarrassed by your behavior, but after a week, you won’t miss them anymore anyway, right?

KK

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The first thing I would ask the doctor is if he could give me a prescription for speed pills so I could stay awake until the end.  Wouldn’t want to waist a minute by sleeping!

Although KK’s idea of nirvana is a pretty pair of shoes, I would take mine off and never wear another pair again.  If I had my way, people would only wear socks or go barefooted, except in winter…or if  you’re missing a toe.

I would go to the store and get some caviar, lemons, crepe dough, crème freche, and scallions and go right home and make Beggar’s Purses for KK and me.  They are little bags of caviar, crème freche and lemon juice that are tied closed with a long, scallion sliver and then flash fried so that the crepe part is crispy but the insides are still chilled.  You’re supposed to eat it in one bite.  It’s supposed to be an explosion of caviar in your mouth.  It’s sort of like bungee jumping but the thrill is longer, it’s not scary, and your heart doesn’t fall out of your mouth.  I would also eat an entire red velvet cake, a whole bar-b-que’ed cabrito and a bag of Lays ‘Classic’ potato chips.  I’ll get back to you on what I would eat on the second day…

If I had a week…I would fly to Hawaii and rent an all-wooden yacht to sail around the islands.  I would eat lots of teriyaki, drink Pina Coladas and wear two coconuts for a bra.  I would try to surf again, wear flowers in my hair, and sing ‘Bali High’ too loudly while drinking a Mai Tai.

Things I wouldn’t do if I only had a week:

Laundry

Empty the dish washer

Buy a dog

Think about people I hate

Worry about the house

Pay any credit card bills

Watch Dancing With The Stars

Weigh myself

Straighten my hair

Change the oil in my car

Listen to Rap music

Call any business connections

I like what KK said about living your life as if you only had a week.  Wouldn’t that be wild?  God, the world would go into chaos.  People would be swinging from the trees, and all of the credit card companies would have to declare Section Eight (KK just told me that it’s really Chapter 11...wonder what Section Eight is?).  The water parks would be full and everybody would be drunk.

SalGal