Must we change our clocks AGAIN?  Who decides that we mess with the natural cycle of Mother Nature and her clock?  Besides, I don’t like it when it’s dark at 5 pm!  I don’t like changing all the clocks and alarms.  I can’t remember all that.  And, for days and days, I walk around saying to myself, “Okay, it’s 9:30, except that it’s really 10:30 pm.”  My sleep pattern gets all screwed up, tipping my 8 hours to either 7 hours or 9 hours depending on the season.  And, The Ancient One gets so confused about the time difference that you’d think she has nothing else to dwell on.  Well, she doesn’t, so Sal and I get to hear about it until it’s time to turn the clocks the other way, and she’s throwing up her old, wrinkly arms again.  You can’t explain this to someone whose brain matter has taken on a lace-like grid.

Time is of the essence for me at this age.  I don’t need someone messing up my schedule.  It makes me itch.  My control issues go right out the window and when  I can’t control time, I get cranky...out of sorts...put out.  I demand a constitutional amendment for time to stand still, no changing it willy nilly without a REALLY compelling argument...not something like, ‘Trick or treaters need darkness for their Halloween malfeasance.’  Screw’em.  Two Hershey’s Kisses apiece, then I’m turning off the lights.

I mean, what would our ancestors say?  They used to say, “Oh, sun is up, must be day, WOMAN...cook me food!”  They weren’t worried about what time a conference call might take place or how long a meeting was running over.  They didn’t have to wait until the ‘cocktail hour’ before they could brew up some concoction that would make them forget what day it was, much less the hour.  Ah, those were the days, huh? 

So, you all just go ahead and ‘fall back’ if you want to.  I’ll keep controlling my own little universe, and if I’m late to meet you, go ahead and order for me...vodka martini, neat, heavy on the Vermouth, with extra olives.  I’ll either be an hour early and an hour late.  Get over it.

KK

*************************************************************************

This whole thing is ridiculous.  I’ve heard that it has something to do with more sunlight for farmers or something.  Well, shit, how do the cows or the corn know what time it is anyway?  The cows come home when it’s dark. What’re you gonna do, tell them to hold off because the sun is going down an hour earlier and you’re not ready with the cud yet?  No, I don’t think so. And then if you feed them anyway an hour earlier because it’s already dark, you are going to have to feed them an hour earlier in the morning in the dark.  They will be pissed and your milk sales will go down exponentially.

And the corn ears are going, “Wait a minute, why are all the cows already out from the barn this morning?  That’s weird.  Where is that pesky rooster?  This is his fault.”

And the rooster is going, “Hey!  Mr. Farmer Man!  What are these damned cows doing in here?  I just got started and I’m not even warmed up yet. By the way, the corn is complaining and I don’t have time for this!”

And the farmer is going, “Damned government.  The corn is confused and now my cows need therapy.  The rooster feels unappreciated and the milk smells like my Aunt Martha.  grrrrrr…”

See?  It’s just all wrong.

SalGal