Camp "Say What?"

Views: 988
Added: Thu. Jul 09, 2009 8:53pm
Posted in: Writing

• » print
• » report
• » email

 

I made a fool of myself when I was 9 years old. (It has happened many times since then.) Here’s my story: I was at 4H camp in Ocala, Florida for a week. The counselors decided that we would have a talent show that everyone (as in several hundred campers if I remember correctly, but it was probably more like 50) would attend. Anyway, eager to put my talents on display, I said yes right away when a girl about my age asked me to participate in a skit with her.

 

This is what we rehearsed:

Girl:      “I have a fly in my hand who’s wearing a raincoat. It’s not raining so will you hold the raincoat?”

Me:      “Yes.” I held out my hand for her to pretend to put it in my palm and then closed my hand.

Girl: “Do you believe that I have a fly in my hand?”

Me: “No.”

Girl: “Then why are you holding his raincoat?”

(The punch line was supposed to draw big laughs.)

 

This is what actually happened the evening of the show:

Girl:      “I have a fly in my hand who’s wearing a raincoat. It’s not raining so will you hold the raincoat?”

Me:      “Yes.” I held out my hand for her to pretend to put it in my palm and then closed my hand.

Girl: “Do you believe that I have a fly in my hand?”

Me: “Yes.”

Girl: Big silence. Then, she yelled: “You’re so stupid!”

Girl then stalked off stage. I, meanwhile, looked at all the campers in the audience, who looked at me like I was a nut case. I burst into tears, and RAN the other way off the stage.

 

To this day, I can’t look at a fly in a raincoat without remembering that horrible day. It scarred me forever. I can only hope that that girl, wherever she is, grew up to be a really nice person. If she didn’t, then I hope that she has a very large, ugly wart on the end of her nose that CAN’T BE SURGICALLY REMOVED. I take no prisoners.