So Now It Begins

Views: 1,029
Added: Thu. Apr 16, 2009 1:38pm
Posted in: Writing

• » print
• » report
• » email

As some of you know, I recently took a trip to Colorado with my daughter and my three grandchildren, and this trip was definitely different from previous ones we have taken together. Why? Because this time, I became the “dutiful daughter” – we switched roles, although it certainly wasn’t my idea, and I damned well didn’t like it. The trouble started as we drove to Atlanta – she decided to drive (MY CAR) and I said fine because I was happy to sit back and read. Once she was behind the wheel, however, she started mimicking my supposed driving habits - swerving her head and the steering wheel back and forth at the same time and then speeding up and hitting the brakes periodically. I told all three children to cover their ears as I said a few choice words to her. She settled down and behaved herself for the time being.

Once we arrived at the airport for check-in, I became one of her litter – I tagged along and walked in a straight line with my tail wagging like one of her ducklings. My annoyance level rose with our boarding passes – for maybe the first time in my adult life, I didn’t carry my own – SHE had it. Once we arrived at the counter, she handed it to me because she knew I had to show my identification to the agent. This was obviously a TEST – if I failed it, the dreaded wheelchair would be called into service. Anyway, I deliberately made eye contact with the woman behind the counter – I wanted her to know that I was in full control of my mental faculties – just in case she doubted it. I flashed my driver’s license at her, which had to send a strong message – “LOOK, SHE’S STILL ALLOWED TO DRIVE!” Obviously I did okay because the agent didn’t question me and I was allowed to walk to the security area on my own two feet. As I grabbed a bin and started putting my jacket and shoes, etc., in it, I seriously thought about completely disrobing (isn’t that what senile people do?), but I decided not to – my summer tan had somewhat faded and I was wearing a red Superwoman thong and a black pushup bra.  Besides, there were children present. After we passed through security and reached our gate, I almost said: “Shouldn’t we change my Depends before we board?” but I decided to behave myself in the hope that she would give me a cookie later.  Once we arrived in Colorado, I really rebelled, but that’s another story.