Several months ago, I had x-rays done on my lungs. When I went to the counter to pay, there was a sign on the wall that said something like this, if my memory is correct:

NO CAROTIDS

I think it meant that they either weren't a facility that provided the test or it wasn't covered by health insurance. Always maintaining a certain wit and good humor, I quipped, "No karotids?" only, I pronounced it like carrot-ids. "Do you have any lettids or tomatids?" One woman didn't get my stab at humor.

"Car-AAHH -tids," she exclaimed as she tried to seriously explain what the sign meant. All of the other ladies laughed while one of them attempted to tell her it was a joke. One of the single most important things in life is to keep a sense of humor. Laughter adds years to your life and to think in positive ways, you inspire not just yourself, but everyone you come into contact with. In this particular case, though, I'm going to take a more serious approach to life and the challenges we face.

I've had lots of medical tests since my health began to take a u-turn a few years ago. While growing up, I was deathly afraid of needles. For the past 3 years, they have helped keep me alive through constant blood work.  Obviously, I am more fearful of death than a little old needle prick any day of the week. We live, we learn, and we adjust to the obstacles we come across every day.

I've always been a good and moral person, but I attribute my decline to a number of things. I smoked for almost 40 years. To anyone who believes that smoking, including second-hand, is NOT harmful to your health, may you wallow in your words one day. I caught on in my youth, when commercials on television and ads in magazines beckoned. There were doctors in those Madison Avenue depictions who screamed how much better Lucky Strike was than Pall Mall. Looking for a breath of springtime? Smoke Salem while fields of flowers lightly swayed in the warm breeze behind the refreshing pack. They invited you in. Here, try one of mine. Of course, they weren't real doctors, just actors who probably never even smoked. The fields may have been real, but the smoke would have killed them by now, springtime or not. Oh well, no one forced me to pick up the nasty habit. For years, I smoked those Salems and I was stupidly proud of myself when I weaned myself off menthols about 15 years ago. Good job, Dave! Well, at least I can say I quit 20 months ago and never looked back.

In my reckless youth, I did my fair share of drinking, too. Was alcohol an underlying factor? Oh, it didn't help, but by itself, I don't think so. Alcohol never consumed me and I had no problem when I shrugged the stuff off. The most harmful thing it did for me was light up my desire to smoke more often when I imbibed. Beyond that, if I could take back all the money I spent, I'd be a lot richer, in the mind and pocketbook. Smoking and drinking. How dumb it was when I look back today, sitting in a doctor's office waiting to be seen.

To me, a crucial factor in my failing health is attributable to all of the trans fats I've eaten my entire life. Hydrogenated oils, one of the most serious perpetrators of bad food gone wild. It's clogged arteries and helped promote heart failure more than any one digestible food product manufactured by man. There's nothing good we can say about it today, but originally, it was considered to be a healthful alternative to saturated fats such as butter and lard. Margarine manufacturers of old prescribed it in advertising as a heart healthy alternative and proclaimed that it was just what the doctor ordered. Only, it wasn't, as we know today. For 11 years of my life, I practically bathed in it, along with saturated fat, by consuming hot dogs, hamburgers and French fries every single day I spent in the fast food business. Those golden fries were the ones that were actually soaking in trans fat, but little did any of us know what would be in store years down the road. Today, we are a nation of obese, sick and under-insured heart attacks waiting to happen. The list of maladies can go on and on, and little do any of us know about trans fat's heir apparent, interesterified oil, also known as rich in stearate. Yum! Rich in stearate sounds inviting, doesn't it? The word "rich" conjures up a wealth of health benefits, but guess again. When I first saw interesterified on a package, my interest was highly piqued and I researched it. If you get a chance, read what I wrote about it here. You might think twice.

I must be totally honest with you. Growing up, we all think we're going to live forever. Well, we don't. Why I would allow all of those toxins into my bloodstream is just plain stupid. OK, the trans fat part we didn't know about until recently, but tobacco, in particular, could never have been thought of as beneficial in any way. It stinks, it imposes on others and it's a giant waste of money. Today, I think about all the money I spent and how it would help me pay for the expensive tests I need. My mother and her older sister have been diabetic for years. Why didn't I open my eyes to the possibility that it would hit me one day?

I never gave it a thought.

Instead, I kept on smoking, drinking and eating junk food, oblivious to the possibility that it would come after me with a vengeance. Oh boy, did it. Today, I am a type 2 diabetic. I have PAD and high cholesterol. I am what you would call "triglyceride challenged." I have congestive heart failure in the forms of tachycardia, angina and palpitations. I have some sort of growth in one of my lungs. There's more, but I'm not going to bore you. Today, I take a combination of prescription medications and supplements that put grins on pharmicists and health store consultants as soon as I walk through their doors. My job is not to preach. It isn't to lament. It isn't to complain about not having health insurance. I do not ask for sympathy. It is not to gather alternatives to conventional treatments, although I would warmly welcome all advice here in comments and through private e-mails. No, my message is to warn you that you might end up in the same boat as me. Keep your life buoyant. You can change your lifestyle any time you want and stay above water instead of drowning in problems and debt. Quit smoking. Eat better. Exercise more. If not today, then just think about doing something sooner than later. I don't think it's too late for me - there goes my positive attitude -  but if you are young, you do not want to be facing what I'm going through as you advance in years. Granted, a lot of it is in your genes, but even if something doesn't run in your family, everything has to start somewhere. Don't let it begin with you, OK?