So this week I came fairly close to death and didn't even know I was sick. Welcome to life with diabetes. See, I feel fine. I'm a little tired, but that's it. No aches and pains, no...nothing. I feel fine. My appetite is a bit supressed, but when your blood sugar is high, you're supposed to be hungry. I'm not. In fact, I'm just eating on schedule, and struggling to eat enough. My doctor says I should limit myself to 2000 calories. I struggle to eat 1500. I can't even imagine eating 2000. 

When I was diagnosed with diabetes years ago, I changed my diet. Junk food is largely a thing of the distant past now. I eat whole grains, lean proteins, fish or shellfish twice a week, and limit bread, rice, potatoes and pasta. I use olive or flax oil sparingly and low-sodium salt substitute. You get the idea. About six weeks ago, I launched a walking program, 3-5 times a week, at least a mile, plus a concentrated effort to move during the day, just extra steps, a little light weight lifting, whatever. I've also been keeping careful watch on my diet, which, after all these years, is more like a lifestyle. I'm losing weight at record pace (for me), about 17 pounds now, in 7 weeks.

I was pretty enthusiastic about having my blood tested. I thought my A1c would be down several points. Exercise and a balanced diet bring it down, I've been taking the oral meds plus adding cinnamon and cider vinegar (not at the same time) to my food because they help level your blood sugar naturally. I drink at least 64 oz water every day, usually more. My diet is high in fiber. My blood sugar should be...wonderful, for a diabetic.

I was pretty shocked to find that my A1c, which was 10.0 three months ago, is now 14.5. Normal A1c is 6. My thyroid reading was also off the scale. I've never seen my doctor so agitated. He came flying into the room like he expected to find me dead on the floor. Evidently that would not have surprised him. He said he'd never seen numbers like mine in a live patient, and if it had gone another few days I'd have landed in the hospital or the morgue. He put me on insulin and asked me to call in my blood sugar them next morning. When I didn't call in early enough, he sent an officer to my house, with instructions to assume medical emergency, kick the door in and call an ambulance if I did not answer. I was fine. 

The insulin is working and I'm taking mega-doses of thyroid meds right now to get things back to normal. I resisted taking insulin before because everyone told me that it makes you gain weight. The last time I went to see my Dr., I told him that's why I don't want to take it, and he answered that it makes you hungry. I mulled that over...I don't care if it makes me hungry. I thought you gained weight for some metabolic reason. Hunger, I can handle (by eating low-cal, healthy stuff every couple of hours). If I'd known it was about hunger, I'd have gone the insulin route years ago.

Seriously, I feel fine. Even the tiredness is normal for this time of year and can be easily explained by spring allergies...it's expected. I could have collapsed, gone into a coma, or died. My kidneys could have shut down. And I feel fine. It's terrifying.

I suspect that my doctor thinks I'm lying to him - or to myself - about my diet. So I'm keeping close track on paper, and yesterday started taking pictures of everything that goes into my mouth. diet food log 

Everyone just assumes that fat people eat a ton of food, or eat a lot of junk, or both. Can't tell you how often I've heard humorous phrases like "step AWAY from the donut". haha. So I'm showing you my food. Every bite. No dodging, no cheating, no avoidance, even if I slip off the wagon...can't be more accountable than that, right? If you think my diet is unhealthy or want to make suggestions, please do so. If you think all fat people spend all their time eating, take another look. And then think about what you eat every day. There are a lot of people like me.