Moving Beyond the Pressures & Problems of Life- A Stress & Burnout Recovery Guide

By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach

Have you ever felt completely overwhelmed with life?  I sure have and you probably have at different times of your life too, since everyone feels pressure over problems in their life. However, problems and pressures are different at different life stages. For instance, a teenager’s greatest problem may be worrying that they don’t have a date for the prom, while a parent may worry that their daughter has a date with the wrong guy for the prom! Pressure for one person may be the feeling of panic from not having enough money, while pressure for another person is being overwhelmed by the amount of taxes they have to pay because of having more money than they expected. Increased stress comes from many different directions, often creating greater health challenges than we realize. Cary Cooper, a professor at Lancaster University in Great Britain, described it this way, “Stress as a health issue is probably the Black Plague of the 21st century.”

Stress often starts out small, which is why we don’t think about it much until it’s out of control. Picture a series of seemingly innocent little problems that seem to pop up throughout the day to then grow in intensity like a twister churning across a Kansas cornfield by bed-time. If they came at you one at a time you could handle it, but when they are bunched together in clusters and seem to be coming at you from a dozen different directions at once it feels like more than anyone could handle… that’s when you know you are on stress overload and headed toward burnout. And that’s what this stress recovery guide is designed to help you identify and more importantly, to solve.

Face it, daily stress affects every area of our lives and to some degree affects everybody, but not always in the same way. According to a recent Harris Poll 75 percent of people said they felt some to lots of stress, while 23 percent experienced lots of stress every day. Their research covered the 14 most common daily pressures that are believed to cause stress overload, like finances to being worried about health to feeling disconnected and lonely in relationships.

Over one in five people feel overloaded with stress every single day!

– Harris Research

Unresolved stress can lead to burnout because the pressures and problems that can build up in one area of life tend to spill over into all other areas of life. Which means that not dealing with stress and pressure in one area of life will eventually have a negative impact on the other areas of life like energy level, relationships, health, sleep, career, money, schedules, home-life or even harm our emotional and sense of spiritual well-being. Stress compounds the amount of internal psychological pressure that we have to deal with, whether we like it our not. That’s why we tend to avoid it, which only makes it worse because unresolved daily life stress can lead to an explosive level of panic and tension or if we choose to deal with it, these same pressures can be quickly solved to bring you to a position of greater peace and strength inside.

STRESS COMES FROM FEELING OUT OF CONTROL-

Here’s a foundational insight about moving beyond the normal changes of life to overcome stress and avoid burnout- you have more control than you think. You really do have a great deal more power to change than you could ever imagine.  The Bible teaches a timeless principal about managing stress when it says, to “Count it all joy when trials and challenges come along,” (James 1:2). This is because the trials and challenges force us to deal with our character issues by growing and changing. A great deal of the pressures and problems in our lives is based on our perspective about those issues. Do you see those pressures and problems as something terrible that will only break you down and leave you weaker or as a positive pressure that will blast away insecurities and fears to push you toward reaching your potential?

Stress affects everyone from the cradle to the grave, which is good news for some and not so good news for others. The not so good news is only that there isn’t a place on this planet where you won’t have to deal with stress because it will never go away…it’s just part of life. If you see this as bad news, please balance it with the very good news that it’s a perfectly normal part of growing through every stage of life. Yes, I said perfectly normal because everyone has to deal with stress if they want to grow strong.  It just feels overwhelming when there is too much in too short a period of time, and with the rapid pace of life these days, we are all prone to carry too much stress inside.

Stress researcher, David Posen, MD, describes the problem this way, “The problem causing stress is the rate of change in the modern world. You almost have no time to adjust to one change before the next one comes along.” Think of it as a process that looks like this flow chart:

Life causes Change

Change is Stressful

Stress is difficult to deal with

On the other side of Stress is Strength

We grow the strongest as we tackle issues to move forward through the stress and pressure to face our fears and go to an even deeper level of insight and maturity. So, if your goal in life is to try and do everything possible to avoid stress and pressure then in some ways your goal is short-sighted, because it is going to leave you weaker and more immature than others who face the stress with God’s help to grow stronger and become more of the person they were designed to be. 

STRESS WARNING SYMPTOMS:

How can you tell if you are on stress ‘overload’ instead of just having a bad day? Take a minute to check off any of the following stress symptoms you have felt on a regular basis over the last month or so. The more symptoms you are experiencing in your physical, behavioral, emotional, relational or spiritual life, the greater the likelihood that you are being overwhelmed with stress leading to burnout or exhaustion, instead of growing stronger on the other side of stress. (Remember, some of these symptoms may indicate serious health problems and should be checked out by your medical doctor or by a qualified healthcare professional).

PHYSICAL or BEHAVIORAL STRESS SYMPTOMS:

__ Loss of Energy                             __ Sleep loss or Insomnia                          

__ Fatigue                                         __ Listless or in a mental ‘fog’        

__ Dry Mouth                                     __ Ulcers

__ Headaches                                   __ Migraines                                                

__ Smoking                                       __ Rapid/shallow breathing

__ No Appetite                           __ Alcohol or drug abuse to cope                          

__ Caffeine dependence                 __ Inability to rest                                         

__ Over-eating                                  __ High blood pressure                   

__ Hyper-tension                               __ I.B.S./Colitis

__ “Nervous energy”             __ Tightness in chest or heart palpitations

__ Chronically sick                            __ Accelerated heart rate               

__ Decreased libido                         __ Chronic joint pain

__ No time to relax                            __ Unkempt physical appearance             

__ Chronic back pain                       __ Nightmares or night terrors                    

__ Restlessness                               __ Cries easily or can’t cry at all                

__ Increased health worries __ Muscle tension (neck/shoulders/jaw)    

__ Skin disorders                      __ Fainting or feeling like you will faint                  

__ Abdominal pain                           __ Sweating or really cold hands/feet

__ Nausea or diarrhea                     __ Increased cold or flu symptoms            

EMOTIONAL or RELATIONAL STRESS SYMPTOMS:

__ Difficulty concentrating                __ Uneasiness or nervousness                  

__ Defensive                                     __ Easily angered                            

__ Withdrawal from others               __ Criticism or Sarcasm

__ Holding problems inside            __ TV addiction-Soaps, Sports, Sitcoms 

__ Self-consciousness                     __ Anxiety or panic

__ Apathy                                    __ Avoidance of emotions (esp. fear)                   

__ Financial worries                         __ Living in the past or future                      

__ Short temper                                __ “Clinging” or dependent behavior         

__ No sense of humor                      __ Not sharing burdens with others           

__ Feeling hopeless                         __ Over-committed or life is out of balance

__ Feeling helpless                          __ Life seems out of control           

__ Trouble making decisions          __ Feelings of failure

__ Forgetfulness                               __ “Type A” driven personality                    

__ Impatience                                    __ Elevated shame or guilt             

__ Unresolved loss or grief              __ State of alarm 

__ Tension                                         __ Depression or overwhelming sadness

__ Irritability                                       __ Apprehension or confusion       

__ Overwhelmed                               __ Impulsive Decisions       

__ Perfectionism                               __ Diminished productivity

__ Restlessness                               __ Easily distracted

SPIRITUAL STRESS SYMPTOMS:

__ Avoiding spiritual needs                         __ Loss of faith                     

__ No time to pray                                        __ Increased doubts            

__ Inner turmoil                                              __ Spiritual aloneness

__ No peace or contentment                       __ Spiritual emptiness        

__ No day of rest                                           __ Tremendous anger at God        

__ Unresolved past guilt                               __ Lack of inner peace

__ God seems a “million miles away”        __ Believing that everyone is a hypocrite

The more warning indicators that are identified in a single category or across multiple categories, the more that person may be in a stress ‘overload’ situation. However, if only a few of these stress-related symptoms are present, then don’t worry about it. Life stress is common, so if only one or two symptoms are present, it is not usually a cause for alarm, but it is a sign that you are alive!

MOVING FROM STRESS TO STRENGTH

Once you have identified the primary factors that are fueling your stress, then it’s time to take positive action to change. Some situations are so complex that you can’t work out of it by yourself, but you can take action to move in the right direction. Do this by talking openly about what’s causing your pressure with others. Even if you feel like you can’t talk to anyone about your problems, you can pray about it, or write down your thoughts in a journal.

Remember, no one can solve all their problems alone so don’t be afraid to reach out to the people around you who can help, like pastors, doctors, counselors or call a hotline, (you can call the number 211 in many cities to be connected to social service agencies that are available to help with many daily life stressors). You can always do something positive to face the stress and pressure in your life, but you have to decide to take action now before the pressure increases and things get worse.

Here are a number of proactive steps you can take every day to build your personal energy level with the use of stress coping strategies. The more positive actions you take, the faster you will move from stress to strength as you implement the skills necessary to make your life work better.

PHYSICAL & BEHAVIORAL STRESS COPING SKILLS:

__ Sleep (7-9 hours)                                     __ Balanced diet                              

__ Regular meals                                          __ Deep breathing                           

__ Regular exercise                                     __ Tense/relax muscles

__ Hugs/affection                                          __ Regular daily routines                

__ Massage                                                  __ Plenty of water                                        

__ Medical checkups or physicals  __ Medication (prescribed by your MD)

__ Quiet times of rest or naps                     __ Get out into the sunshine           

__ Brisk walking                                    __ Organize time and schedule                 

__ Learn to use a planner                            __ Regular bedtime

__ Allow extra time to do things                  __ Simplify your lifestyle

__ Get rid of clutter                                  __ Delegate or delete low priority events

__ Learn to organize tasks                          __ Leave earlier to avoid traffic jams

EMOTIONAL & RELATIONAL STRESS COPING SKILLS:

__ Personal planning time                           __ Positive relationships                 

__ Build positive esteem                             __ Share your burdens                    

__ Support groups                                        __ Counseling

__ Deal directly with problems                    __ Talk openly about anger

__ Honestly face fears                                  __ Laugh and have fun                    

__ Relax with family/friends                          __ Reading

__ Learn to say “No”                                     __ Short term goals                         

__ Hobbies/activities                                    __ Take on new challenges

__ Learn something new                              __ Leave work at work

__ Do good for others                                  __ Victory list of achievements

__ Pace yourself                                           __ Control spending with a budget

__ Journaling                                                 __ Manage your moods

SPIRITUAL STRESS COPING SKILLS:

__ Bible Study                                               __ Apply biblical principles to life

__ Prayer                                                __ Church socials or recreational events

__ Meditation                                                __ Regular worship in a house of faith

__ Inspirational music                                   __ Join a supportive church group 

__ Memorize scripture                                 __ Observe a day of rest    

__ Spiritual landmarks                                 __ Keep priorities balanced

__ Inspirational books                                  __ Realize God loves you

__ “Re-create” Spiritual energy                   __ Listen to inspirational messages

__ Express more gratitude                          __ Experience quiet times with God

__ Spiritual concert events                          __ Spiritual workshops or classes

__ Forgive to really live                                __ Practice acts of random kindness

Finally, remember the old saying, that “Things come to pass – not stay”. No matter what problems you are facing today, they will eventually pass. If you are on the right road, moving in the right direction, you will get the right results. It is my hope that you will begin right now to build positive stress coping skills into your daily life and routines so that you can spend your time and energy really living life instead of feeling beat up by it.

You can’t control the fact that stress comes into your life, but you can control how you manage it and how you will respond to the pressures and problems that daily life throws your way. With fear and dread or by facing it head on with discipline and determination. One path leads to exhaustion and the other to being better equipped as a person of greater character and strength. It’s time to choose a path- choose wisely and your life and health will be better or choose poorly and live in quiet desperation. I challenge you to let today be your time to take bold action to live better as you move past your stress to live at a new level of success.

For further study on stress recovery, check out these sites:
www.webmd.com                                          www.drwalt.com       

www.Family.org                                             www.eCounseling.com                    

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About the author- Dwight Bain is dedicated to helping people achieve greater results. He is a Nationally Certified Counselor, Certified Life Coach and Certified Family Law Mediator in practice since 1984 with a primary focus on solving crisis events and managing major change. He is a member of the National Speakers Association and partners with media, major corporations and non-profit organizations to make a positive difference in our culture. Access more counseling and coaching resources designed to save you time by solving stressful situations by visiting his counseling blog with over 150 complimentary articles and special reports at www.LifeWorksGroup.org