I'm Writing a Diet Book

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Added: Thu Nov 22nd 2:25pm
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No one's happier about America's weight problem than the $50-billion-a-year diet industry. That's why I've decided to write a diet book.

I've done a little research and it should be pretty easy. After all, it doesn't have to work. 95% of all diets fail. We try. We fail. We end up with a few more pounds and a lot more frustration. Eventually, we decide to try another diet and buy another book.

Americans will buy over $600 million worth of diet books this year, according to Business of Consumer Book Publishing. And since diets don't work, they'll buy another $700 million next year. In case you want to write one too, I'm happy to share my research.

Remember, it's never just a diet book. It's "a program for permanent lifestyle change." That's a well-disguised disclaimer that I'll display prominently in my book. That way, when it doesn't work, I can say the reader didn't buy into the entire lifestyle change part, which is more fully explained in my second book.

There's no money in telling someone right up front to eat more veggies, cut back on the sweets and make regular exercise a part of your life. You have to wrap that simple truth inside a complex program. People are willing to pay for that.

First, come up with some sort of semi-believable diet plan (like eating only foods that begin with the letter "B" or never eating anything that has a face) and then spend 40 pages getting to your to basic point, which is - eat more veggies, cut back on the sweets and make regular exercise a part of your life. Turning 20 words into 40 pages is where you earn your money. The authors of "Sugar Busters" could have written, "Insulin secretions prompt the body to store fat so lay off refined sugar and starches like potatoes, pasta and rice." That's not a book. That's a public service announcement. There's no money in that.

When you've run out of different ways of saying the same thing, it's time to flesh out the rest of your book with 60 pages of humorous anecdotes, motivational speeches and recipes. You'll have to take a stand for some foods and against others. Don't worry about this. Even nutritionists, dieticians and researchers can't agree on simple things. For instance, is milk good or bad for you? Butter or margarine? Red wine in moderation or not at all? Coffee - yea or nay? It's enough to make you want to scream. Or write a diet book.

Far more important than the diet is the title of the book. Naming it after a desirable place seems to work. Best sellers include "The Shangri-La Diet", "The Sonoma Diet", "The South Beach Diet" and "The Hamptons Diet" which asks, "Want to eat well, stay fit, and look fantastic the way the rich and famous do in the Hamptons?" We all know it's more about the 10,000 sq foot beach home, 2 European vacations every year, a personal trainer, a plastic surgeon and a full time chef than it is about the diet but let's not sweat the details.

Another good idea is to have an unusual angle like "The Diet Code: Revolutionary Weight Loss Secrets from Da Vinci and the Golden Ratio." In this book, the author cleverly applies the mathematical principles of The Golden Ratio (an integral plot element in The Da Vinci Code) to his diet. Once the code is cracked, the formula looks like this: 1 part grain, 2 parts protein, and 3 parts vegetable/fruit. Thank goodness the code has been cracked. I was using 3 parts protein.

Lacking an interesting angle, you can make an interesting observation like, "French Women Don't Get Fat." That bestseller quickly inspired copycats like, "Mediterranean Women Stay Slim, Too" and "Japanese Women Don't Get Old or Fat." How long can it be before we see, "Fermented Fish Paste - Why Cambodian Women Don't Get Old, Fat or Lazy."

Maybe the most unusual "diet" book of all is "Living on Light, the Source of Nourishment for the New Millennium". The author is a breatharian who claims she hasn't eaten since 1993 and subsists on nothing but air and light. She doesn't even drink water. Because she doesn't eat, she says, she excretes only "rabbit-type droppings every three weeks." As you might imagine the recipe section of this book is a little sparse.