Big time depression!

Views: 917
Added: Tue. Jan 06, 2009 2:44pm
Posted in: Other

• » print
• » report
• » email

I'm so depressed right now that I can't think straight. I have so many things to do, but can't concentrate to get stuff done. I am so unhappy and it's only day number six of the new year. I am hoping for a great 2009, but so far, it seems like a big let down and a continuation of 2008 -- a really awful year in terms of finances, my personal life, and other stuff. I have no where to turn. I was getting professional help, but I stopped because I wasn't following the advice I was getting. I couldn't do what I knew I needed to do -- lack of money is a huge issue. How can I make any decisions without money? I can't change my situation because I have nothing ... no money in the bank. No one who can help me. My family has their own financial problems, so I can't turn to them for help. They need my help and I can't do much for them. My own kids are having financial challenges; can't find work or can't find full time jobs. It's a tough economy and we're all hurting. I'm just hurting all over. I don't sleep. I am up all night long. My heart races so much it feels like it's going to explode. I already take a ton of meds, so I don't need more. I'm trying to stay after from anti-depressants. Took them for years and weaned off of them. Don't want to return. Had to go back on anti-anxiety medication but sometimes, it doesn't work either. I'm too damn depressed. My life is upside down. I don't have a life. I don't have a real marriage anymore. I have nothing. I am so alone and so unhappy. No, I'm not going to hurt myself. I wouldn't do that. I'm just going to sit back and be depressed. That's all I can do. Can't think of anything else right now. Need to get re-focused, but can't. I'll try later.