Two Voices Separated By 1 Generation

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Added: Tue. Feb 24, 2009 3:47pm
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How Much is the Body in the Window- No matter how old we are, we probably know someone who hates the way they look. Even if I were a size zero, I would still have issues with the way that my body looks. The countless squats and yoga moves don't change the fact that I view my body the way millions of other people do. I used to not understand how a girl can get so thin and still look at themselves as fat. I would get angry at them. But knowing that in some way I have the same problem, who am I to judge. This not so new, "Hollywood Thin" is dangerous and the images being broadcast through the television and magazines are a true detriment to our youth. What most of them don't understand is the magic of airbrushing. One of my best girlfriends in high school was constantly told by her own mother that she was fat. We would be standing in her kitchen getting lunch and her mother would yell from the other room, "No more cookies!”. It always made me sad. What she needed was for her mother to tell her she was pretty, no matter what she looked like. On a holiday weekend from college, we went on a candy run before a movie that night. As she was checking out ahead of me, she had a box of laxatives with her things. Although she was my best friend, I did not know what to say. I told another friend to look after her while I was away at another school. With no help from me, she eventually sat down with her mother and told her that she had become a bulimic. Heartbreaking and ironic, her mother admitted she, too, was one in college. Even though it all worked itself out for the best, I will always feel guilty for not doing more. While eating disorders run the gambit of both girls and boys, being a dancer sometimes makes things even worse. Some ballet schools weigh in their students on a weekly basis. A few years ago, I overheard a well respected choreographer tell a 12 year old, “Those thighs of yours! It's because your mother is Italian." No one i n the studio even flinched. I am proud of the Dove Company for its relatively new add campaigns. They are showing women of all ages and body types in giant billboards in Times Square. Out of context, it doesn't sound so new and innovative, but what most of you probably don't know is that these women are all completely nude (Tastefully and respectfully so, I might add). These are the kinds of images that are going to make young people appreciate who they are on the inside as well as the outside.

 

Elizabeth Whittemore

 

Hey Fatso!

I walked into Kindergarten every morning with a knot in my stomach. "Hey, fatso" was the greeting I knew awaited me and the shame and terror this induced has followed me for over fifty years.  By the time I was eighteen I weighed two hundred pounds and hated every inch of my body.  I hated shopping for clothes, never considered wearing makeup, and avoided all mirrors.  You can only imagine what my social life in high school was or actually wasn't.  I longed to go to the proms and football games like all the pretty popular girls but the constant taunting of my body kept me hiding in the house trying to feel safe and forget how I looked.  This feeling of safety trumped any thought of taking, what I knew would be a risk, to go outside and have fun.  Isolation became my way of life and food became my only source of "fun" and companionship.  However, this self imposed exile only made things worse as all I had to do was eat and hate myself.  This hatred inside my soul became as huge as the outside of my body and much of it was a direct result of the disgust I saw reflected in all the eyes looking back at me (including my mother's) the whole of my young, formative, and impressionable years.   It would take years of therapy to let go of this self loathing and I still cringe a bit if I walk past a group of strangers who start laughing after I pass.  Intellectually I know it's probably not about me but emotionally I'm still not sure.  My body will always seem a bit distorted in the mirror of my own mind.  Unfortunately, I am not alone.  The obsession in this country with women's bodies is horrendous.  It is turning our young girls into starving shells of themselves and imposing life long health and psychological issues. I realize not every girl is vulnerable.  But if the family genetics and home environment is conducive to her having a problem with food then this outside pressure will be the tipping point.  Forty-seven percent of women have reported their body image was affected when they were growing up by seeing photos of skinny models and celebrities.  Additionally, fifty percent said remarks by members of their family had a negative effect on them and caused them to impose restricted eating habits on themselves (Self magazine reader poll).

 

There is no doubt we have a serious problem that is affecting our young females both physically and psychologically.  What to do? Parents and grandparents the best advice I have is to speak up.  Use your voice privately to reassure your girls they are beautiful as they are and publicly to try and stop this thin-is-in nonsense.  You may not believe it but your words are more powerful than any Paris Hilton could say.

 

Deedra Hunter is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Eating Disorder Specialist with the LifeWorks Group, Inc. in Winter Park, FL. She has over 20 years of experience serving her clients needs and has also published a book called; Winning Custody: A Woman’s Guide to Retaining Custody of Her Children.