Have you ever walked to the edge?

Added: Sat Jun 28th 4:34pm
Posted in: Religion & Spirituality

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 Through various things that happened when I was five and continued for way too long I lost my faith. I stumbled for awhile, then as I grew older I became more sure footed, and before long I was running to the edge.
I became convinced that God was done with me, and surely found no redeeming qualities, after all where was he? Did he see my Grandpa sneak into the bathroom, did he see my Mom close her ears? Where was he? Was I deemed not worth the effort? I decidedly came to the conclusion at age 23 that I marred the surface of the earth. I further concluded that if I truly wanted my three boys to live without this stigma of a mother that even God would not rescue then surely I should die. Yet--here I am at age 53.
Truly, down on my knees with a razor to my wrist and the bible opened to Psalms there came a knock on the bathroom door.
Have you ever been so close to death? What brought you there? Would it help to share?