The Rabbi is In!

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Added: Tue Jun 17th 7:40pm
Posted in: Religion & Spirituality

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This past weekend my wife and I traveled to the Trump International Sonesta Beach Resort to witness the wedding of one of my closest friend’s daughter. Robyn and Chip were to be married in what was the most beautiful wedding we’d ever had the honor of attending.
The ceremony was conducted outdoors, next to the pool complex, complete with waterfalls, fountains, hot tubs and lush tropical foliage. The chuppah, a canopy traditionally used in Jewish weddings, was located in front of one of the waterfalls adding a spectacular backdrop to the cloudless evening. Many of the 200 guests were already seated as the Rabbi, who arrived a bit late began preparing the table under the chuppah. He appeared a bit frazzled but went about his business. He was placing various items such as wine glasses and documents on the table when the coolest thing happened. As he was side stepping around the back of the table he apparently did not see the point where the floor ended and the pool in front of the waterfall began. He took a step back, obviously going back further than he anticipated, and began a slow decent into the shallow pool. It was more of a controlled fall. He managed, in one motion, to stop his fall before completely submerging and begin to get out. I wouldn’t call it graceful but he was pretty smooth. Not many people actually saw the fall because most were busy chatting with the people sitting around them. I started to get up to see if I could help but a couple of others who were closer and also fortunate enough to see the misstep beat me to the punch. The Rabbi wanted nothing to do with them. He left the chuppah, expressionless, without making eye contact with anyone and headed into the hotel.
Word spread among the guests and many were wondering what the Rabbi was going to do. A couple of people waited a few moments and then went after the Rabbi. He was pretty easy to track.
About five minutes later he resurfaced with a dry pair of pants. I learned later that he traded trousers with a waiter who wore the same size. The lower part of his jacket was still wet and I’m guessing he kept his underwear on as a little seepage was noticeable.
He finished what he had started under the chuppah and the ceremony began.
Although humorless, the Rabbi did a fine job as the bride and groom exchanged vows. During the ceremony the Rabbi explained the symbolism of different rites such as the breaking of the glass and the design of the chuppah.
He told us why there were no walls under the canopy. Rather than being constructed of some material, the walls were formed on one side by the parents of the bride, the other by the parents of the groom, and the front by the many family and friends who gathered to witness the event. He never mentioned any wall behind the chuppah. Maybe because there wasn’t one and he didn’t want to go there… again!
After the ceremony, I was curious as to what the Rabbi had planned to do about his pants. I was also curious as to what the waiter was going to do. I doubt he had a spare pair of pants. He must have been hiding somewhere in his underwear while the ceremony was taking place.
Interestingly, I spotted the Rabbi leaving the hotel in dry pants. I guess he decided not to attend the reception and get the heck out of Dodge.  He’d write off the wet pants to experience.
Without going into any unnecessary detail, I needed to use the restroom and found the closest one. I entered a stall and sat down. As I looked on the floor to my right, a big smile came over my face. I found the waiter. How did I know? Easy. All I could see were his shoes and socks. Nothing was draped around his ankles.
I heard the door to the bathroom open and someone began speaking Spanish to the waiter. Although not fluent, I was able to figure out what he said. It was something to the effect, “The Rabbi left. You’ll have to wear his wet pants.” I knew that had to be pretty close because I heard the waiter blurt something in Spanish that anyone could translate.
The reception was wonderful, the band was great, and everyone was having a super time. There was plenty of food and two bars were set up to make sure no one would have to wait for a drink. Word spread quickly that one of the bars was very slow.
It seems the bartender at the slow bar didn’t know what he was doing at all. Always one for entertainment, I figured watching this guy work would be fun. As soon as I got there I knew immediately what happened. His wet pants were a dead giveaway. There must have been a good bartender out there waiting tables.