Dinner with your grandparents?

• » print
• » report
• » email

O.K. – So here’s the deal.  My husband and I took our 11 year old son out for a quick bite to eat tonight at a favorite local restaurant.  Our son is tall and thin and looks much older that his 11 years.  The hostess at the restaurant greeted us and proceeded to grab a children’s menu which highly offended our pre-teen, and he politely asked for an adult menu - which took a lot of courage for him as he is painfully shy. 

The waitress (easily in her mid-fifties) came to take our orders and I placed our son’s first.  She tapped him on the shoulder and asked that he speak directly to her to place his order.  “What’s the matter, can’t you talk to me yourself?”  We ignored her plea and continued to place our orders.  We were proud of him for saying “Yes Mam,” in response to her demand.  He even clarified his order for her.

Dinner was served and the orders were incorrect, but we got that all straightened out eventually.  We were pleased that our son ate as much as he did – but apparently our waitress was displeased and asked him if he didn’t like the meal.  Looking as though he had been caught committing a crime he stammered “It was good.  I’m just full.” Once again, we ignored her and politely asked for a box.

The grand finale of our visit was when she delivered the check to my husband and asked me if the young man was my grandson. When I told her I was his mom, she said “Well, I really didn’t think you looked old enough to be a grandma anyway.”  My brain shrieked back “Then why did you bring it up?”  My lips were silent.  Our son was horrified and cast his eyes immediately towards the floor in total embarrassment. She then launched into a diatribe about how she just found out she was going to be a grandma for the first time and how old her children were and on and on and on.  I am all for being friendly and having light banter with people as long as it doesn’t cross that imaginary line.  In this situation I was fully prepared for her to pull up a chair and order coffee.  Enough is enough! 

You know, being 50 and a baby boomer, maybe I do look like a grandma on some days.  But, I had just had my hair colored (a very soft red with blonde highlights) and cut, and I had makeup on and was feeling really good about myself. 

Did I miss the press release when the world decided it was o.k. for customer service professionals to embed themselves into the lives of their patrons?  Was I sleeping when it became appropriate conversation to inquire about a strangers family dynamics?  Having worked in the hospitality industry for most of my life it would never have occurred to me to be so intrusive to a guest I was serving.

This isn’t the first time this has happened to our family.  Sometimes they ask my husband (who is seven years my senior with shocking white hair that he’s had since he was 19) if he’s the grandpa.  If our older son (14) is with us, he laughs out loud and says “Hey MOM” or “Hey DAD” and gets the point across with just the right touch of sarcasm to turn the tables on the faux pas. 

Stewing over this on the way home,  I have developed what I think will be the most fitting response to the inevitable further stranger comments about whether or not my husband and I are grandparents to our children :

“Yes, yes we are their grandparents, and don’t you wish you looked and felt as young as we do!  Check please, and be sure to give us our senior citizen discount!"