The main point of Bev's story was about the way a rich, powerful, white family was received and supported by the community as opposed to the rejection and negativity heaped on a middle class black family. 

But what I want to address is why this ever causes eyebrows to be raised. Teenage pregnancy is not a parenting matter. You can be the best parent on earth or the worst and your child can still fall victim to their own hormones. In fact, religious parents who raise their children in very strict households often find themselves surprised, because preaching abstinence leaves your children unprepared when the moment is upon them.

Personally, I counciled my children to wait. I told them that love is worth waiting for, taught them the dangers of unprotected sex, and explained the far-reaching psychological effects and potential health risks of multiple partners. I spoke frankly with them and in great detail, and then I trusted them to use their own judgement.

But even that is not what I want to talk about. It's biological imperative. In terms of human history, it was only yesterday (less than 100 years ago) that girls were married off at 13. When we were cavemen, life expectancy was 30 and middle age was 15. Few children survived, so in order to perpetuate the species, women had to mate and mate often from the earliest possible age. 

Society has changed. Current societal "fashion" is that people are still children until they are 18 or 21 or whatever. With lifespans becoming longer and longer, perhaps someday we will not consider our children real adults until they are 25, or even 30. Because, let's face it, many of them aren't, and some never really get there.

But no matter what age we decide is adult, our bodies decide we're adult at about 13, and the biological imperative to procreate kicks in. Powerful emotions rage within us. These emotions allow us to separate ourselves from our parents and become adults, and urge us to find a mate and get started. We fall in love at the drop of a hat and it's a fierce, animalistic, proprietary kind of love. At 13, 15, 17, you would DIE for your love, and you would do anything to stay together. Kids that aren't able to attract a mate often channel their sex drive into something else, becoming obsessed by video games, sports, or some other consuming pursuit. Those who can't sublimate the desire or find a mate sometimes become suicidal or filled with rage, despair, hatred...and wind up taking a dark path indeed. Drugs, crime, violence...whatever fills the void.

Parenting can prepare your kids to deal with these onslaughts, and good communication between parent and child is essential for surviving the teenage years intact. But no matter what your parenting style, biology wins. You can't stop your child's hormones, and if they fall in love, you can't stop them from having sex. I suppose the best you can hope for is that they are too shy or repressed to fall in love, and that they channel all that energy into something cerebral, like math. Unfortunately, that can have repercussions as well. Those kids that throw themselves into academics often wind up with stunted social skills. So for those of you patting yourselves on the back because your child is that math genius who studies all day...should probably ask how this will produce a happy, well-rounded adult, capable of relating to a mate. 

Isn't what we all want for our children to follow their natural path and be happy? A lot depends on the child, the environment, and whether or not your child happens to run aground on the rocky shore of love too early. Sorry, you can't parent them out of that one. All you can do is love them, support them, and stand proud. And remember to grant that same courtesy to your neighbors and their children. Don't be smug because your child managed to get through the teenage years without pregnancy, be thankful. Trust me, it could have been yours. Or mine. Or Governor Palin's.