Husbands'/Wives'Appreciation Day? Phooey!

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Added: Sat. Jun 23, 2012 1:35am
Posted in: Family

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Everyone knows we have a Mother’s Day in May and a Father’s Day in June. Less known and celebrated are Grandparent’s Day (September 9th this year), Aunts’ and Uncles’ Day (July 26th) and even a Foster Care month (May). Of course when you get into various months’ celebrations, the list expands exponentially.

What we don’t hear about and recognize are Husband Appreciation Day (April 20 in 2012) and Wife Appreciation Day (September 16). That is, in my mind, because those days are misnamed. What they should be is Husband (or Wife) Accountability Day. I suspect those who are truly great husbands or wives hear how much they are appreciated more than one day a year. But what is missing is a day when we can recognize abusive husbands (physical or verbal) and abusive wives (mostly verbal but some physical) for what they are.

There needs to be a day that relatives, friends and society as a whole hold husbands and wives who are failures accountable for their actions. They need to be reminded that their actions are corrosive to a marriage and inexcusable when children are involved. It seems not a week goes by that the local paper has a news story about an abusive spouse who commits mayhem and even murder, or sometimes the abused spouse who does to escape those abusive spouses. We need at least one day a year to remind these derelict spouses that their behavior is inappropriate at a minimum and often criminal at worst. If nothing else, their behavior cost society money for the police and judicial system to handle them. And too often their behavior spills over into the neighborhood wherein everyone around becomes spectators to their bickering and fighting, and sometimes involuntary involved.

Too many parents fail to recognize that their children often grow up to be just like them. Typically great parents raise great, successful kids. Someone who is inattentive as a spouse most likely is inattentive to their children’s needs and actions. Kids copy parents. Inadequate husbands and wives are merely training their kids to become as much as a failure as they are in a marriage. Their children will become the future abusive spouses.

Just because a relative or friend or neighbor smiles and is amiable to these people doesn’t mean they are to be admired or excused for their private behavior. It’s time we take these miscreants to task. They deserve the condemnation of all of us. They deserve a Husbands’/Wives’ Accountability Day.