A Lesson about Burning Bridges

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Added: Fri. Mar 27, 2009 9:03pm
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More than 25 years ago someone told me I should never burn the bridges I’ve crossed in life because I never know when I may have to make a U-turn and cross back over that same bridge.

I never gave that statement much thought back then but the older I got, I began to realize how true that statement really is. You never know whose path you may cross in life that can help you along the way. You never know who you may need to help you on your journey. It could very well be someone you’ve already come in contact with but if you’ve treated them badly or done something to personally offend them, you shouldn’t expect them to offer you a lending hand if you need one.

That brings me to the story of a fellow baby boomer named Catherine Donnelly. Back in 1981, she began her freshman year at Princeton. This young, wide-eyed Georgia girl soon discovered her roommate was black. She told her mother, Alice Brown, who was horrified and demanded that her daughter be removed from that room. Catherine’s mother, who is now 71 years old, stormed down to the campus housing office and demanded that her daughter (Donnelly) be moved to another room. "I told them we weren't used to living with black people — Catherine is from the South," Brown said. Brown said she was raised to believe there should be no mixiing of the races in any way. She recalled hearing her grandfather, a sheriff in the North Carolina mountains, brag about running black visitors out of the county before nightfall. And Brown's parents held on to the n-word like a family heirloom.

Today Donnelly is living as a gay woman, which she says has made her far more aware of what it's like to be judged by a trait beyond your control. Meanwhile, her former roommate is now the First Lady of the United States: Michelle LaVaughn Robinson-Obama.

Funny how life changes, isn't it?

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Tom Ratcliff
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Posted 9:31am April 17th, 2009

Great story. Change is inevitable; unfortunately some people just don't get it and hold onto old, worn-out values like it was a precious organ. I still have few friends who - to this day - still see the world as their parents and grandparents did.

Honestly, I don't need them, but someday they may need me so I stay in touch. People can change and many do. Others just stay the same. I don't know why ?? But, if we are serious about making a difference in life than I'm willing to be patient and understanding, especially with friends.

What I just don't get and probably never will is how someone can, so to speak, judge a book by its cover ?? Why would you want to limit your life experiences?? It's almost cowardly to me.

I have so many great and funny stories to tell about times when I've met people for the first time and we had different skin colors, dialects or gender preferences. I can hardly remember an instance where we didn't get along once both of us put down our guard and simply spoke socially.

After all these years I now behave like my Father (God rest his soul). Dad would talk to anybody, I mean anybody. How's the weather? Are you from here? Once we were at a new Chinese restaurant in Hershey, Pa. and Dad asked the waiter if he liked the Hershey Bears (hockey team). And the waiter answered him with a curious look on his face. Dad said, "You know, Hershey Bears". Dad moved his arms around like he was swinging a hockey stick. Dad said again, “You know, hockey puck". The waiter answered him back, "We no serve hockey pucks here!" My Mom, brothers and sister laughed so hard that night we couldn't swallow our dinner.

Anyway, that's my point.

Best regards,

Tom Ratcliff, Orlando
babyboomerbev
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Posted 10:54pm April 1st, 2009

Ginger,

I have been curious as to why Catherine decided to go public with her story. And how must her mother feel knowing she disrespected the First Lady of the United States? I have never heard anything about the mother ever apologizing for that incident.
Katy
GB Staff
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Posted 11:56am March 30th, 2009
Wow, what a great lesson in history ... starring one of the most influential women of our time -- Michelle Obama!

You say it's funny how life changes, and you're right ... I just hope that a decade from now, someone will read this story and not remember when race, sexual preference, etc. was notable.
Ginger!
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Posted 12:13am March 28th, 2009
Talk about poetic justice!! The sad part is that, if I'm reading your story correctly, Catherine was not the one to demand to be moved. So essentially her mother robbed her of the chance to make a good friend. How sad.

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