Exercise

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Added: Mon. Oct 26, 2009 5:14pm

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For my entire life, sports and exercise have been a mainstay of my existence. At fifty-nine years old, I still play basketball, tennis, racquetball, and of course the national pastime of Baby Boomers -- golf. I just don't play these sports as well as I did in my youth. I have been able to compensate for my eroding skills by instituting a savvy veteran formula... I cheat.

If I am competing with someone who is at least twenty-five years younger than me, then I institute this prime directive. If I'm playing basketball, I will clutch and grab at my youthful opponent's jersey to make sure he doesn't blow by me. If I am playing tennis, any shot hit by me that is within two feet of the line is determined by me to be in. Of course in the spirit of fairness, I alert the young player before the match, that due to my age, my eyes have become weaker and that I will do the best that I can to make the proper call.

While I am proud that I'm still competing in athletics, I must admit that I am slowing down in other areas. These days when my wife wants me to do chores around the house I am often tired and can't comply with her requests. Even I find it bizarre, that almost every Sunday for twelve hours from September through January, my chronic sports injuries seem to rack my body with pain. I don't want my wife to be concerned, so I quickly lay down on the recliner and watch football games. I often feign that I'm really interested in the action of the game, and sometimes even cheer loudly, just to try and convince her that my health is not at risk.