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So, you're a member of Mensa...
Views: 3,440Added: Tue. Jul 28, 2009 7:54am
Yes. I am, or was, a member of Mensa. In all actuality, I stopped paying dues when I had kids and found that I no longer had time to actively participate, but I'm still on the rolls and can reactivate at any time...and probably will sometime soon, now that my kids are grown.
There are a lot of misconceptions about Mensa in general and mensans in particular. People are intimidated, but they should not be because one thing we know for sure is how little we really know. I never, ever forget that the higest recorded IQ is about 220, and Koko, the gorilla that learned sign language, has a measured IQ of about 70. My IQ falls right about in the middle of the two, making me comparable to Koko in terms of really high intellect and only a few points above normal in relative terms...which is where most Mensans fall. Except for an egotistical minority, as a group, we have a lot of respect for the intelligence of other people.
We also understand that intellect is not the only thing. In fact, it oftens separates us as children, leaving us lonely, nerdy types with few social skills. Growing up in Key West and being a pretty girl gave me more social skills, but I can remember plenty of uncomfortable moments when I was referred to as boring or nerdy. I know now that my choice of words made kids with lesser vocabulary skills feel inferior, and explaining what I was trying to say made it worse. I've learned to adapt. If a word slips out that few people will understand, I just tack the definition onto the sentence as naturally as I can "Sex in commercials has become ubiquitous - it's everywhere you look. Take that creepy Quiznos commercial - Put it in me Steve..." I can't help using the words, it's the way I think...but I don't want to put anyone on the spot to have to ask the meaning. I don't do it to be condescending. I do it because I don't want to be a nerd. Like everyone else, I want to fit in to the conversation. So intelligence is one thing, but there's a lot more to respect about people, including life experience, social skills, ideas, talent...as the sister of a man with an IQ in the high 70s, my youngest brother, I know for a fact that smart doesn't reside solely in IQ. Kev might not have the same ability to read and write, but in his own unique way, he's brilliant and intuitive. He's got an innate understanding of anything with wires. Sort of an electrical savant. I can totally respect that.
Mensa meetings are social gatherings. Here in Orlando, we have a great group, or did, back when I was active. I hope it's still going strong. We got together often, at least once a week. We had a trivial pursuit team at a bar one night a week, a scheduled restaurant dinner once a month, a games night, where we played all kinds of family-style games and such once a month (now those could be intimidating), and a whole host of other random activities. We had a picnic at Blue Springs park during manatee season, had a video night once a week for a while and watched the entire series of Blackadder, and got together to watch Star Trek:TNG in its first run. We went to the movies, and once a year went on an eclectic shopping trip - caravan style - in downtown Orlando, to visit out of the way and unusual shops.
Political or intellectual discussions sprung up once in a while, true, just like they would at any gathering of people anywhere. Most Mensans, in my experience, are liberals, and few are religious. Some are, though. I have never met a rich mensan, although most are comfortable. Not sure why that is, perhaps rich people don't have time to socialize, maybe we just aren't primarily motivated by money (I know I'm not)...or maybe I just don't know enough Mensans, since my experience is limited to Orlando, with visits to groups in Miami, Gainesville, Ft. Lauderdale, the Space Coast, and Tampa.
What we aren't is creepy, freaky or weirder than any other group of people. Years ago, a guy I knew was convicted of murder. His name is George Trepal, and he's been on death row since 1991. I don't know if he's guilty. I didn't know him that well. The thing that disturbs me about this was that he was convicted solely on circumstancial evidence, and the misconceptions about Mensa were both startling and frightening. On juror told a reporter that Mensa as a "satanic cult" and was quoted as saying "I don't really know if he's guilty or not, but since he belongs to a satanic cult he deserves to die." An officer issued a very smug statement about how Mensans all thought they were too smart to be nailed by a good old boy, but he sure showed them (sorry, this is a paraphrase. It was in the paper and the sentiment stuck with me, but it's been a very long time). Several statements made at that time revealed a seething suspicion of Mensa and what we do...which is mostly party, only without a lot of alcohol. Most of us don't drink much.
One of the most shocking aspects of the trial was *GASP* Mensa had a yearly murder myster weekend, and George Trepal was the host! Let's overlook that murder mystery dinners, cruises and vacations were the hottest trend in the U.S. at the time and took place all over, and that the object is to solve a murder, not commit one...I honestly think if not for that, they might not have convicted him. The evidence was unbelievably sketchy. There were no forensics whatsoever, but George owned, in his rambling house on the edge of an orange grove, an old bottle capper, an empty bottle of rat poison (which could be found in any house on the edge of an orange grove) and, in his library of thousands of books, a book about poison. His neighbor was poisoned and the poison was delivered via coke - the kind with a crimped metal cap you needed a bottle opener to open. Someone had removed the cap, put the poison in, put the cap back on, and somehow gotten the poisoned bottle into her fridge. They theorize that George simply left it on the back step to be carried into the house. That could have happened. Like I said, I don't know if he did it. But I would never vote to send someone to his death based on assumptions and potential coincidences, without so much as a single fingerprint, a witness, a hair...(granted, George was pretty bald)
It seems like someone with a logical mind like George's, who plans murder mystery weekends meant to stump Mensans and writes devious puzzles for the newsletter...would know to get rid of the bottle capper and the empty bottle of rat poison (which didn't have his fingerprints on it and could easily have been left in the garage by the home's previous owner). I'm just saying.
I'm also not crazy about how they conducted the investigation. They sent someone to Mensa meetings to cozy up to George and gain his trust, and it worked so well that he invited her to stay in his home when she mentioned she needed a place. It wasn't a romantic thing, George had a live-in girlfriend. It was just an act of sincere generosity. The undercover policewoman used this deceptive entry into George's home to circumvent a search warrant - they didn't have enough evidence to obtain one - and find evidence. Granted, things were different back then. But even at the time, it seemed way out of line.
ok, way off track. The point I started out to make is that Mensans are normal people who gather to do things they consider fun. That's all. We have some commonalities and a lot of differences, and we come from all walks of life. In general, we're less successful than you'd expect, maybe because we're not that easy to work with...we need an autonomous environment where we are free to make decisions. We're also far more sensitive to hurt than most. Many of us still carry the scars of nerdish teen years, and some construct an intellectual shield to protect themselves. Me? I'm easy to get along with and confident, but not necessarily a good employee material. I wasn't tortured in school, so I don't have shields made of ego and bluster. I speak my mind, can't help myself. That's why I prefer to work freelance, and why I might never be rich. I value freedom over money. But it still would be nice to not have to worry about money all the time.
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sherisaid
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Posted 3:44pm August 3rd, 2009Ginger, OJ had WAY more money. George probably had a public defender. He didn't strike me as a rich man.
Ina
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Posted 7:15am August 2nd, 2009You were right. I mailed them (mensa) and am back a member again. Thanks again
Ginger!
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Posted 2:39am July 31st, 2009I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, Sheri. Though I'm not sure what captured my interest more: the MENSA part or the part about George. It always amazes me how people are convicted of heinous acts without so much as a logical reason, much less actual evidence! But then, on the other hand is the O.J. Simpson jury. 'Nuff said on that.
It also irritates me when people make assumptions on an entire group of people based on one thing that group has in common. And how in the world does someone interpret MENSA as a satanic cult??!! That's a stretch if I ever heard one.
I've learned in my lifetime that there's only one way to judge people: individually and by what's in their hearts. That's the best way I can think of to get along in this world.
Take care.
Ginger!
sherisaid
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Posted 1:58pm July 30th, 2009Once a member, always a member. I checked a couple of years ago and national was able to find my record in seconds -even after 25 years!
Ina
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Posted 10:56am July 30th, 2009Hey that is interesting, Sherisaid. Thank you for Shering
I quit (Dutch) Mensa for the same reasons as you did, esp. the fee, it was 54 guilders a year then I think, in the 80's but I thought I would need a test to get back in? I did the hometest this spring, that was ok, but I never get around going all the way to Utrecht to do the real thing. But if I can just join in again... I better check that out.
I also work freelance