The Safe Affair
It’s epidemic! Spreading in bedrooms, board rooms, and hotel rooms across the universe. Seductive. Delectable. Delirious. With curves and cuddles in all the right places.
eHarmony and Match.com, you’ve got serious competition.
“I barely have time for my wife anymore,” men are whispering.
“It’s perfect because he does what I want when I want it,” women are...
Bingo, Bongo, Bonzo
National Pet Week is May 6-12, a little over a week away. Mark your calendar and celebrate!
“I hate being stuck inside this gate all day, every day. A dog’s gotta do what a dog’s gotta do. I want to find myself a new master. Let me figure out how to break out. Success! Aaaaaaaaah, the air. So much sniffing to do. So many fire hydrants to….. I’m going to run around the...
You can’t judge a book by its cover, but sometimes you can’t get past the cover.
There they were. Two plump canteloupes staring at me. And I was at the bank! When the teller moved her position, gravity was clearly conflicted. Swaaaaaaaay to the right. Swaaaaaaaay to the left. Swaaaaaay……wait, wait, we gotta do this together. I heard a voice from above them ask me a few...
Which One Of These Was Not On The "Today" Show?
Which one of these tantalizing news stories was not on NBC's morning Today show?
A) Cheerleader Sex Scandal: Former teacher, now a cheerleader for an NFL team, faces charges of having sex with former students. B) Octomom Files For Public Assistance: Nadya Suleman, mother of 14 kids, 8 born from the same pregnancy (she had 6 kids already) is broke. C) Woman Celebrates 90th Birthday With...
Somebody Made The Fish Smell and It Sure Wasn't Me
“I’m right,” he said.
“No, I’m right,” I said.
About a week ago I bought some fresh salmon at Costco. We have an extra refrigerator-freezer in our garage. When I got home, I put the salmon in that refrigerator until I could get to it to cut it into slices and freeze it; salmon comes in a long slab. I’m the only one in my household who eats salmon, so that’s why I...
The Other Side Of '13'
Help can come from unexpected voices if you're listening.
Theresa stopped the entire Zumba class. Someone’s husband was talking to her so loudly she couldn’t function. But he was nowhere to be seen. She had to deliver his message to his wife. She did. Then class resumed like normal.
I was channel surfing last night when I came across TLC’s “Long Island Medium” starring...
How Could This Possibly Have Happened?
The unexpected. It’s what happens when you have everything planned out perfectly. And when the rollercoaster gets going, you just have to let life take flight.My daughter’s preparation for final exams at school is giving me flashbacks of how true this is.
Flashback #1: When my daughter was in kindergarten, the students were studying the metamorphosis of caterpillars. They had a...
"I Do" and So Can You
Thank you, President Obama, for endorsing same-sex marriage this past week. You unleashed the souls of many, allowing them to love freely.
Don announced to me, “I’m getting a divorce.” Don worked for the printing company that printed the bank’s employee newsletter, which I was editor of. In addition to our serious professional relationship we had a very fun, casual friendship....
Kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya, oh Lord, kumbaya.
100 bottles of beer on the wall. 100 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, 99 bottles of beer on the wall. 99 bottles of beer on the wall……..
Ah, those tunes we sang around the campfire. As the school year winds down, parents prepare to gleefully embrace the next season, sending their children to summer camp. Yipee! Time...
Falling (More) In Love At Wal-Mart
Today I went to Wal-Mart. A man with an equally long list of “Things To Buy” stopped me. “Excuse me, miss, can you tell me what these are?” he asked, pointing to the words on his list “knee-high or trouser socks.” He explained that his wife had asked him to buy some for her. I was quite taken by his steadfastness to find exactly what she wanted. It would have been...